Yes, that's right, I'm posting about the teeny bopper movie about vampires, werewolves and an unattractive smelly girl that they all fight over. Did I lose my mind today? No.
I watched the two previous movies with my wife and actually enjoyed the movie. It's not all about vampires wanting to suck all the blood out of everyone and terrorize the small woodsy town in the middle of nowhere. There's actually a decent story that's enjoyable and vampires re-imagined. I've never heard of vampires with diamond glistening skin! Of course, it's not without it's hokey scenarios and scenes. The special effects is pretty bad. It looks like made for TV special effects if you ask me.
So how did I get suck(ered) into the world of Twilight? Well my wife got the DVD for the first movie and I didn't have anything to do that night, so I said, "Sure, why not, the worse it can do is put me to sleep."
I don't even recall the opening of the movie, so I obviously wasn't paying attention. I do recall when the main female actor, Bella, played by Kristen Stewart (I had to look that up, don't know who she is, LOL), went to school and had to sit next to Edward, the main vampire dude played by Robert Pattinson (had to look at up too!), and he couldn't stand the smell of her. That's when I laughed and started ad-libbing the movie, and just started laughing so much that my wife told me to stop so she could watch the movie.
It's not that Bella was stinky of garlic, but something about her blood that smells so good and fragrant, the other vampires can't stand it and gotta tap that vein of hers. I guess you can compare that to a girl you had a crush on in high school but may not have been the most attractive girl and you couldn't figure out why. Pheromones! That's why you wanted to tap that unattractive girl in high school!
The second Twilight movie called New Moon now focuses on Jacob Black, the Native American that finally goes through puberty and literally gets hairy and turns in to a wolf. I have to hand it to them on this second movie. I really enjoyed how they portray the werewolves in the movie. Made them wild boys running through the forest and kind of manned up the movie, instead of the pansy aristocratic vampires.
When Jacob showed up on screen without his shirt and showed how muscular he got, my wife just cooed and swooned at that scene. Why? Because that's how she remembered me in high school and how I caught her attention. Yes, that's right, me! She scooted over, try to hold my hand and I'm sure reminisce of the old days. Fast forward to present day, and well, I've got little love handles you can pinch and grab when I sit. Heh!
So why should a guy go watch the movie? If he's single, he'll be out numbered by females probably in the range of 10:1. Although he needs to weed out and find the older females, otherwise go to jail, know what I mean? Since the guy will be in the minority, he'll suddenly be the scarce commodity. He may not be the most attractive guy, but now he's probably looking better than he really is. Or, the females will think he's gay and won't really have their defenses up and is more apt to get closer and start a conversation.
What if he's married? I'm not sure what he would be doing at the theaters without his wife! So, he's most likely going to be there with the wife, and they can pretend they're teens again. Sit there, enjoy the movie, and hold hands. Drink out of the giant sized Icee drink and share an indirect kiss. All the tension and excitement, stimulates something in the brain to reproduce. It's actually a danger reaction, which explains why teens after watching a scary movie, become really horny and want to have sex. So, you might get aroused and the two of you start driving around after the movie looking for a dark hangout place and have a quickie in the car! Might add a little spice to your marriage.
This would also be a great chance to spend time with your daughter (or son?) and watch the movie. She'll think you're a great dad and is trying to understand her. You might even get a glimpse of what kids are into these days. Standing in line and hearing "...like, oh my gawd..", "are you serious?!", "that's hella...", "...the other day, that bitch Becky..." So spoil her a little and have a great time. She'll remember this long after she's grown up.
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